Hats off to the grads! Whether you are the graduate, the family of the graduate or the recipient of a graduation announcement, below is the most commonly followed graduation etiquette. (This applies to 5th or 8th grade promotion, high school, college and advanced school grads.)
For the Grad
Invitations vs. Announcements
A graduation invitation is a request sent to another to attend the graduation ceremony while an announcement lets friends and family know about the milestone.
Invitations: when you are sending an invitation to your graduation ceremony, keep in mind you may be limited in the number of guests who can attend. Invitations (or Save the Date cards) can be sent up to three months in advance (especially for out-of-town guests), but are typically sent six weeks in advance. Pay attention to the deadline for ordering graduation tickets and make sure you request an RSVP in advance of that deadline.
Announcements: Announcements can be sent up to 4 weeks prior to graduation and up to six weeks AFTER the graduation ceremony. If you are having a graduation party, you would want to send out those announcements/invitations 3 - 4 weeks in advance. Again, if you are hosting a party, make sure it is clear on the announcement and request an RSVP by a specified date.
Who gets the invitation vs. the announcement? Typically, schools request immediate family and grandparents only at the ceremony as there is limited seating. If you have other close family but are unable to get tickets for the ceremony, let them know while you would love to have them there to watch you graduate, you are unable to get enough tickets. If possible, set up a graduation party in the days following the ceremony so you can celebrate with your family and friends.
For the announcements, the rule of thumb is to send them to those whom the graduate knows. As much as us parents want to share our kids' accomplishments, do not send announcements to people who only have a relationship with the parents. Start with family, close friends. teachers/coaches, classmates and friends of the grad. Check your holiday card list and ask the grad to see if you missed anyone.
Sending Thank You Notes. Experts agree, personalized, hand-written notes should be sent for every gift received. (This does not include texts or e-mails!). You can also send a thank you note to guests who came to support you, even if they did not bring a gift. If you receive money, let the person know how you plan to use the money, i.e. a mini fridge for the dorm, or a toward a laptop for a new job. Thank you notes should be sent right away, but no later than 2 weeks after the gift has been received.
Receiving a Graduation Invitation or Announcement
If you receive an invitation to the graduate's ceremony, it is important you respond upon receipt of the invitation. For those receiving graduation party invitations, respond as soon as possible, paying attention to the requested response date.
While you may feel obligated to send a gift, graduation etiquette does not require you to do so. If you do opt to send the graduate something, it can be as simple as a congratulatory card (see TCC graduation cards) or it can be a monetary gift or items to help them in the next phase of their lives (i.e. gift cards, home goods, small appliances, job accessories, career clothing, etc.).
How much is appropriate to spend on a graduation gift in 2023? If you are a close friend or relative, it's common to spend $20 - $50, while distant relatives and friends spend $15 - $20. Some families and friends choose to spend much more (in the $100 - $500 range) dependent on the needs of the graduate and their financial ability. Gifts can include:
Book(s) with cash or a personal note tucked inside the pages
College apparel
Laptop
Suitcase
Small appliance
Coffee maker
Backpack
Cash or gift cards
Laundry basket and a roll of quarters
Noise cancelling headphones
Diploma frame
Jewelry
For those who are celebrating a graduation this year, congratulations on this important milestone!
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